Old Lady Jelly Mafia

I am a made woman. Yes, America, I have been accepted into the Old Lady Jelly Mafia. What is that you ask? Let me start at the beginning...

I learned how to "put up" or "can" fruit, jellies and jams about ten years ago. I was sitting at my grandmother's big old dining room table after her funeral. Complete devastation is the only way I can descibe what I was feeling. Momma was my beloved. She is where I get my cooking philosophy. I can still remember the smell of her red rice and pineapple upside down cake.

She never stood at the kitchen counter in order to prep. Her dining room table was her prep station. And I would sit at that table with her. I was her "taster" as she called me. Basically, I sat there like a parrot while she shoved food in my mouth. I think this is the reason why I love the way cold sharp cheddar cheese tastes. She would cut them into bite sized pieces for her world famous macaroni and cheese. Every now and then I had to "taste" the cheese in order to tell her if it passed. EVERYTHING PASSED!

Well, I was sitting at the table with her friends and we started talking about canning. I said that I had never done it but was interested in learning. These beautiful ladies told me everything I needed to know. Now, they come from the "old school" so no boiling water baths for them. Sterilize, pack hot and DONE. One of her friends told me, "You will come over to my house and get some pears." She had a great country pear tree full of ripe fruit. I think I picked about 5 pillow cases full. Pear butter and poached pears in a sweet white wine were my first forays into canning.

Now, back to the Old Lady Jelly Mafia. Fast foward about 10 years and I was canning like crazy. I decided to go for it this summer. Then a commercial came on for the NC State Fair. I thought to myself, "I should enter." So, I went on the website and entered a couple of categories. My co-workers, friends and family become my guinea pigs. They kept saying my marmalades and jams were fantastic. I thought they were just being nice. Because, dear readers, I fear the Old Lady Jelly Mafia. You know who I am talking about! Those old ladies who have been entering their jellies into county and state fairs for years. Tried and true family recipes! I didn't have any family recipes! I could see them in their gingham dresses with doilies. Or ill-fitting jeans with a sweatshirt emblazoned across the front with "I Love Meemaw" .

They may look like sweet old ladies but they would eat me up and spit out nothing but gristle and bones! So, I found myself saying, "All I want is a 3rd prize. Just one. Something. Anything!!" Guess what, my dears? I won two blue ribbons and one red!! Hell yeah! I can now say that I have the best Citrus Marmalade and best Plum Jam in the entire state of North Carolina.

I am now part of the Jelly Mafia!

~Smooches~

Time to Make the Donuts! Daring Bakers Challenge, Oct 2010

So, I have been sooooo damn excited and could not wait for my first Daring Bakers Challenge! Never heard of it? Well, the Daring Bakers Challenge happens once a month. You have to be accepted into the group in order to get the next months challenge. I was a little iffy at first. But, then I thought, "What the hell, might as well try it, huh?"

This months challenge: Donuts. I know! DONUTS!! A bit scary when you think about it, right? It can be a thing of beauty if done right. But, if done wrong...watch out buddy. Hard, hockey pucks expoding in your stomach. Yes, I may be a little melodramatic but oh, well. Here is a link to Alton Brown's Donut Recipe.

I must say that I absolutely love the smell of bread yeast. So, it was great just for that. My house smelled like freshly baked bread for days. I loved rolling out the dough and cutting out circles with juice glasses. That part was much easier than I thought.

Oh, and when I took off the teacloth once the donuts did their final "poff" it was beautiful. Aren't they pretty?

But then I had to transfer them from the cookie sheet to the hot oil (cue dramatic music). How do I put this? A couple came out looking a bit like Krispy Kreme glazed donuts. However, a majority came out looking like tumors. There were a couple that were pretty enough for pictures. But, it's not about how pretty they come out, right? It's about the taste. Yummy!

I decided to fry the donut holes and roll them in cinnamon sugar. Delicious!


The verdict? Would I do it again? Maybe. I think I will try to make the donuts that are more cake-like and use the donut shaped baking pan and see how those babies come out. We'll see. But this is the main reason why I joined the Daring Bakers. I know that I would never have tried to make donuts on my own. I would have found a way to put it off since I am the Queen of Procrastinators. So, thank you Daring Bakers for making me do something that was a little out of my comfort zone.

~Smoooches~

Eating with the Enemy!

OK, so forget sleeping with the enemy. Let's talk about eating with the enemy! To me, cooking and eating and sharing a meal with someone is an intimate experience. Now, I am not saying that everyone I eat with I want to sleep with! HELLO! But, I just can't break bread and eat a meal with someone I am not fond of. Maybe it is the basic human instinct of trusting the person you eat with. In the past, rulers had royal tasters to make sure that no one was slipping poison in the punch. Some scientists have said they believe being adverse to bitter tastes is a prehistoric form of self preservation. That was our way of not eating poisonous plants or berries. Hmmmm...interesting.

When you eat with someone you let your guard down. There is a look everyone gets in their eyes when they eat something fantastic. That is why eating and enjoying food is a sensual experience. Don't believe me? Try this...think about the best meal you ever had in your ENTIRE life. Can you feel your heart racing? Is your mouth watering, perhaps? Yeah, baby...THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!

I've had food requests from people I am not fond of. "Oh, Xavier, when are you going to bake me some of those famous ginger snaps?" Puu-leeese! I just smile and don't answer. Because I know that I am not going to cook a thing for them! I take the time and energy to make something with my hands and with my heart and I don't do that for those I would not eat a meal with.

Did you ever see the movie "The Brothers"? I highly recommend it. Not just for Shemar Moore looking all delicious and fine (whoa, now my heart is racing and my mouth is watering, but that is a whole other blog!)... But, I digress... Anyway, there is a great part when the mother is at a party with all of the girlfriends and tells them the way to know if a man REALLY loves you is if he gives you the last bite of his food. So true! My husband André and I were sharing a bowl of chocolate mousse just the other night. It was the last bite and we both had our spoons at the ready and he said, "you eat the last bite". Now, that is what I call LOVE!

So, no, I can't eat with the enemy. Any question about whether I like you or not? No problem...just bring a plate of chocolate chip cookies and ask me if I would like to have one. Your answer depends upon whether or not I take a bite.... :-)

~Smooches~